


What Is and What Should Never Be

by crushing83



Series: The Zeppelin Bend [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Reality, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Archangel - Freeform, Changing Perspectives, Character Death, Consequences of Time Travel, Demon, Gabriel Lives, Gen, Going back in time, Knight of Hell, Minor Character Death, Ripple Effect, Secret Identities, Time Travel, Time is Fluid, altering reality, altering timeline, angelic consequences, changing timeline, changing verb tenses, covert conversations, mentions of Azazel - Freeform, mentions of Dean Winchester - Freeform, mentions of Michael - Freeform, mentions of Sam Winchester - Freeform, pagan god, part of a series, the lance of Michael, wibbly wobbly timey wimey
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-14
Updated: 2017-08-14
Packaged: 2018-12-15 06:52:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,850
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11800743
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crushing83/pseuds/crushing83
Summary: Looking back on everything that has happened, Gabriel decides to go back to (before) the beginning and make a change that will ripple through to the present day. He knows his actions will make everything different; he hopes his actions will make everything better, too.





	What Is and What Should Never Be

It isn't against the rules, not explicitly. But, they'd all been thoroughly warned about fixed points and timelines, alternate universes and rifts; he knows better than to do what he's attempting to do. 

He'd seen a glimpse of all their possibilities every time he saw the brothers. It is the curse of his kind, to see the past and future along with the present and its potential, as if time were a pool and not a string. While his first siblings might have closed themselves off to anything but their desired end game, he enjoys seeing all the ways a soul's life could unfold. It was only ever entertainment until he met the brothers, when he'd seen souls damaged by experiences and trauma (and held one of them in his grace), bringing him to the realisation that he had to try to offer assistance to their cause. 

At first, he'd played by the rules. He did his best to work within the confines of reality. He didn't attempt crossing paths with another path. He stayed out of the way of his older siblings until he couldn't. 

Playing by the rules didn't end well for him or for the souls to which he'd taken a shine. 

Nursing himself back from a death barely survived, he'd returned to hiding and watching. His seclusion gave him a longer view into the potential of their world and the distance to allow his emotions to harden and soften simultaneously, and the time to consider a course of action. He saw what happened to those souls; he ached for them and the glow few would ever appreciate. 

In one reality, he is there and everywhere. He sees the ways all beings interact, little moments drifting like specks of dust, and the ways those interactions bond to create chains of events, strands that can tangle, tie, or drift untethered. It is an exhaustive pool, instead of a linear path, but there are always threads in its tides. He sees through the fixed points, the events with power and energy that shape the timeline, to the strands and specks between those points. Some of the threads are loose, never to tie into a fixed point, and some of them are braided or woven from one point to another. 

He can't unravel many threads without drawing attention to himself, but he knows if he picks the right knot he can work within the fixed points and update the tapestry of their world. 

It is a risk. 

It is a risk he is willing to take, to try to give those souls a better life. 

The end game can come later.

#####

"I thought I warded against archangels," Cain said. 

Gabriel smirked. "You didn't mention me specifically in the wards, old man," he said, stepping into the salon so Cain could see him from his perch in an overstuffed armchair. "I considered it an eternal open invitation." 

Cain lowered his book. He lifted his gaze. "Gabriel. Or are you still going by Loki?" 

"I'm Loki, now, but I'm Gabriel, again... _now_." 

"Ah, the magic of time," Cain said, smirking beneath his beard. "Have you come back to pass on a message from your father?" 

After a snort of laughter, Gabriel shook his head and took a seat on the ottoman near Cain's feet. "No, no messages from Dad," he said. "I haven't been on official business in a long, long while." 

"What can I do for you, then?" Cain asked. "Are you here to ask for my surrender? Because that will cause more problems than those Azazel is trying to instigate." 

Gabriel shook his head. "No, your time as keeper of the Mark is not yet finished," he said. "I need some information. It will help change the path for... for all of us." 

Cain's appraising gaze might have made lesser angels hesitate to continue on their mission. Gabriel, though, was more than one of the general flock. He knew that look and knew that there was a mind at work behind that blue gaze. While it might have been unsettling if he were facing one of his siblings, Gabriel knew Cain was less rash and less single-minded when it came to the world's outcome. He was considering what Gabriel could mean, and even though he didn't have the view of time and reality that an archangel possessed, he was intelligent and could see a lot more than an average demon. 

"You should be careful," Cain said quietly. "Michael and Azazel have been moving pieces on the board for a while now." 

"How do you know?" Gabriel asked. 

Cain rolled his eyes. "I'm not dead. And I do follow my family's line." 

"For fun?" 

"We all need to do something to pass the time," Cain replied. "So, does Michael know?" 

Gabriel shook his head. "No, not as far as I'm aware. He thinks I'm dead. Now... and now." 

Cain chortled. "The business of a pagan god is far beneath his notice, I suppose," he reasoned. When Gabriel agreed, he placed his book on the end table next to his cooling cup of tea and folded his hands in his lap before speaking again. "All right. How can I help you, friend?" 

Encouraged by Cain's use of the word _friend_ , Gabriel smiled and leaned forward. "I need you to tell me about Abaddon," he said. "How to find them, in particular, but I wouldn't say no to a list of their particular tendencies, either." 

"Abaddon," Cain echoed. 

"Not a fixed point," Gabriel said. 

"Surprising. They'll be so disappointed to hear that," Cain said with a smile. "I suppose they'll find some comfort in the fact that they're influential, at least." 

Gabriel shrugged. "I'm thinking they're more a means to an end." 

"Good." 

"I know in two years, they'll infiltrate the Men of Letters. The American branch," Gabriel said. "That event has far reaching consequences, in two strands of time." 

"And if you tie the active thread off with another, you prevent future consequences with your improvised knot," Cain said, musing aloud. 

Gabriel nodded. "Something like that." 

"Will your intervention prevent Azazel and Michael from carrying out their schemes?" Cain asked. 

Gabriel opened his mouth to reply, but Cain spoke again before he could say anything. 

"No, of course not," Cain continued. "If you did that, they'd know you were alive. Or Michael would, at least. I doubt Azazel cares much about the lives and deaths of specific angels except for Michael and Lucifer." 

He raised his hands, pressing his fingertips together underneath his chin, and he leveled his calm, blue gaze at Gabriel. "Why would you do this if it doesn't prevent them from continuing on with their game?" he asked. 

"Let's just say this zeppelin bend will drastically change the lives of the vessels," Gabriel said. "If it doesn't make them undesirable to Mike and Luci, it might give them the tools to stop it themselves, instead, in a way that they couldn't before." 

"You like the vessels," Cain commented. 

Gabriel shrugged. "I'm a sucker for a shiny soul. Or two." 

Cain smiled. "I remember." 

Pressing his hands together, palm to tip, Cain closed his eyes. Gabriel knew, from the set of his brows and the lingering smile, that he'd convinced Cain to help him. He didn't push; he waited. The information he desired would come when Cain was ready to share it.

#####

If he makes a change too far back in time, what he hopes will come to pass can be lost. 

If he makes a change too close to the birth of the vessels and the creation of those souls, he risks infuriating Heaven and Hell as well as announcing his continued existence. 

His choice is the right one. It will drastically alter one life, then two more, and then the lives of those precious souls he'll come to cherish (in his own distant, abstract sort of way). It will give those souls a different life; and while he can't yet see all of that life's possibilities through the murky pool of what will come to pass with the original tapestry in place, he knows that the new life will give them the chance to be more in control and grant them access to more information than they've ever had in their possession. 

He also knows that other lives could be saved with his course of action. He tries to tell himself he doesn't care about that, but he does because he's always been more Gabriel than Loki no matter how much he pretends he isn't. 

It's difficult to extend his gaze through time and possibility to see what could happen when he takes action. He sees snippets---a family whole, brothers still intensely bonded, a wider network of scholars and hunters---and knows that Heaven and Hell are still pulling threads throughout the potential reality. 

It's disheartening to know that; it's disheartening to see some of the fixed points in a new perspective. 

But, he also sees bonds become stronger and disasters avoided. Those things help bolster his belief that he is about to do the right thing.

#####

It was easier than Gabriel thought it would be to find his sibling's lance. Michael considered two places on Earth beautiful, and only one of those two worthy enough to house some of his valuable possessions, and he never removed Gabriel from the Enochian spell-scripts granting access to that place. Gabriel had been able to walk in, take the lance, and leave without anyone being aware of what he'd done. 

There were risks to flitting around while carrying that lance. Another angel could sense the power in the weapon. A demon could sense the power in that weapon if they were aware of angelic energy. If angels or demons noticed him carrying Michael's weapon, he'd find himself in a sticky situation that didn't involve candy. 

If pagan gods noticed him carrying Michael's weapon, he'd be completely screwed. 

But, the risks were worth the potential reward. 

The bunker where Abaddon was supposed to slaughter the Men of Letters was trickier to find than the weapon. He knew it had to be in Kansas---everything was there, the beginning and the end of this mess, as if it were some sort of cosmic joke his father couldn't resist or bother explaining---but his scope was hindered by interference of the magical variety. 

When Cain grudgingly agreed to help him search the state, they were able to narrow the location down to a precise spot. Cain couldn't get too close without risking detection by the scholars' warding; he wouldn't even if it were possible. He wanted to avoid confrontations as much as possible, keep to his peaceful way of life, and Gabriel understood that since he lived in secret, too. But, Cain was willing to help and together they were able to work quickly to find the bunker. 

They parted ways with a handshake, Cain heading back to Missouri and Gabriel settling down to observe the bunker and its comings and goings. He could sense Henry Winchester, and the vibration his vessel-ready body let out into the atmosphere, but he could also sense another with the same (although less vibrant) energy; there was another person from a line of vessels who worked there, and it wasn't until he widened his gaze that he could see the familiarity there. 

Zachariah could find a home in that genetic line. It had survived the slaughter, in a child, and that child would have grown into the church deacon Zachariah possessed as he chased and tortured Henry's grandsons; with Gabriel's alteration, he would become another scholar and while Gabriel was certain he would grant Zachariah entrance there was still a chance he would refuse to be possessed. Gabriel could see both paths forming in the future and he wondered which would come to fruition. 

Touching the building told him it wasn't (yet) warded against angels. He found that strange. He knew from tales his pagan cohorts told that the European establishments were warded against anything that wasn't human, no matter if it were good, neutral, or evil. After Henry and Josie left to stumble onto Abaddon's handiwork, he tested the wards and found he could enter and exit as long as he cloaked himself from sight and walked through an already-open door. That knowledge changed his plan; he could no longer slip through the walls after Abaddon arrived and he couldn't follow them inside so he would have to enter before they arrived and hope he wouldn't be detected. 

He slipped in after a group of initiates returned from a night of (mild) revelry. No alarms sounded his arrival. A quick fingersnap test---and transporting a book from the section on angels into a section on werewolves---revealed he could still use his powers. 

He hid inside Josie's room and waited. 

Two days later, he found the whole assault to be anticlimactic. He'd planned and analysed and worried, but apart from Abaddon sensing him and nearly blowing their cover as soon as they'd entered Josie's personal space there was little that happened that bothered him. 

Abaddon only had enough time to look at him with a surprised look on Josie's face before Gabriel stabbed the body with the lance and they disappeared in a cloud of black dust. 

He felt a little guilt about the life he'd killed, but he knew Abaddon never would have allowed Josie to exist after possession. Her soul would go to Heaven where it belonged, safe and sound and relatively undamaged. 

Instead of taking the lance out with him, he left it in Josie's closet. He'd debated returning the weapon to Michael's secret vault, but ultimately he decided to leave it with the scholars. They might deduce some of what occurred, and they would definitely keep the lance safe. 

There was a risk of Michael solving the mystery of who stole his weapon, but Gabriel was confident that he wouldn't piece together the mystery of when it was stolen. 

Again, the risks were worth the potential reward. 

He made himself invisible again and slipped out of the room. 

One day later, Henry and two of his colleagues left to look for Josie, and he followed them out of the building. It was an easy wait; he'd been alive so long that a day felt like nothing at all.

#####

The relief he feels as he looks around at the world he reshaped is immense. He sees the glow of the souls he saved, even though they haven't yet been born, and he knows they have a better chance at life. He feels like he did something _important_ for the first time in a very long time; he feels like he chose the right side. 

His father told them to love humans. He had never really understood why, until he'd stowed his familial grief and really looked at the brothers before him. They reminded him of his father's wish, of all his father had wanted in his creations. Too much time passed before he took action; he hopes he will never make that mistake again. 

He knows that he isn't seeing everything as if it were set in stone. Fully aware that humans have the power to disrupt and defy, he knows that some of them will interfere with the new reality he is helping to shape. He is almost looking forward to the challenge. 

Ahead of events in the old reality, he is off the bench and in the game, prepared to do what he must to defend the results of his actions and everything that follows. 

He can see the glow of those souls in the new future, distant but still bright, and he looks forward to seeing them born. He looks forward to meeting them again, with the chance to be considered their ally when the strands and particles are bound together to allow it. 

Instead of giving into his impatience and flitting through time, he will bear the wait. He plans to immerse himself in the world, doing what he, as Loki, does best; he plans to do what he can to prepare for the fixed points he cannot change. 

His siblings will see what has been done, but they won't undo it. Killing the supposed last Knight of Hell is a good thing, even to Michael, and he will only see that the fixed points are still there. The rest---the deals and seals, the possessions, the destruction and damage---is in flux, but his siblings won't be focused on that. They will assume the end will come as the foregone conclusion its always been, as long as the metaphorical dominos are placed properly. He is counting on this, from them, but he isn't expecting an easy ride. 

Unlike the last time around, he is prepared to take a stand and fight for the humans. He feels it in everything he perceives about the new reality, in the good and the bad and everything not certain. 

The darkness of grief and resignation is fading under the light of hope.


End file.
